So we all know how it is when it comes to issues of the heart. I actually think there is a thin line between love and lust even though a lot of scholars would rather the thin line existed between love and hate. But hey, the truth is we can always invent theories that best suit our situations. So who gives a hoot right?
Now what if there is a slight tilt in the normal dynamics of love? what if you find yourself having pancakes and muffins? what if you actually have both and can't seem to make a choice? what if you are in love with two individuals and can't find yourself making a choice? does that actually mean you are a two timing b**** or a d***** bag? You know it is actually easier to assess situations from afar, most people are quick to raise and slam their gavels at cases they aren't directly involved with. But the question is what happens when roles are reversed and we find ourselves in such a twist of fate...what would we do?
Don't get it twisted, I am most certainly aware of those of us who think it is impossible to love two people at the same time. In fact once, a friend said 'when you start loving someone else alongside your present love, feel free to dump the first for the second because it means you are loving him/her less.' At the time this statement was made, it made a whole lot of sense and that was years ago when my naive mind believed in the hypocritical clichés of love like : 'love at first sight', 'the existence of a prince charming' and all other bull crap sold to us by paper back novels and poorly scripted soap operas.
Adulthood and maturity however exposed me to the cold, hard truths of reality which states and I quote 'nothing is indeed the way they have been portrayed to be' thus teaching me that life is cruel and love is as complex as the dynamics of a spider's web. So yes! it is indeed possible to be in love with two individuals at the same time and in my opinion it doesn't make you a b**** or a d*****bag, it only makes you one of the few people who have been struck by love's own aberrations. It only means your life just got a little more complex than others'. It means you have to think twice as much as the guy or girl next door in love with an individual.
This is in no way similar to toying with the hearts of innocent people, this is not a game where first come, first served could be applied, this is a real case of confusion. A dilemma in which your heart never saw coming. For years society has tried to guilt victims of such predicaments by asking questions like if tables were reversed how would you feel? if your lover tells you there is someone else would you take it? and all the bla bla bla rhetorics meant to guilt those involved, neglecting the fact that the real victims are the ones who have the gnawing pain of this huge secret eating at them and threatening to consume them. Society is quick to blame but never quick to assess...why would anyone want to go through such a hurtful process? is it not clear this is something that can't always be controlled?
The world is full of cold hearted humans in form of lovers who would hurt their so called loved ones without a backward glance at their bleeding hearts. It is not lost on me just how many lives have been ruined by heart breaks but then, we still have real cases. People who would rather hurt than let anyone one of their two loves go, the ones who would do anything to protect each and instead of pulling one out from a burning furnace and letting the other die, would rather jump in and die with both...yeah...strange but true...almost but not entirely unbelievable...and these are the ones I speak of today.
Now of course being one to believe in this possibility, the big question is what to do? In as much as this is a unique case of love's aberration like I said, it doesn't make it any less easy and complex but I say there is nothing to be done...thats right! absolutely nothing! I wouldn't be a hypocrite by saying come out clean to both parties because we all know how that is more of shooting oneself in the foot and setting oneself for a big lose at both ends. I wouldn't also be a 'goody two shoes' by making you bask in the euphoria of a falsehood that this doesn't exist. Trust me this is as real as the economic downslide the Nation is experiencing.
So my two cents : Do nothing, let your heart enjoy this surreal situation it has found itself but then be aware that life would happen...be it in form of karma,environment,family or destiny and when life happens I need you to prepare for the worst. Brace yourself because you could get hurt when life makes a choice for you eventually and yes! you guessed right! this is not for the weak or light hearted...so yes...if this is your story...enjoy it while it lasts...love is a beautiful feeling but nothing so good lasts forever...XoXo
By Maureen Alasa